Arise! Awake!!

I wanted to restart the blog yesterday. February 8th is my mother’s birthday. A leading daily in Karnataka has a daily column in which it carries the bio of famous artistes, writers and personalities in Karnataka. So, courtesy that newspaper, my mother got tons of calls wishing her a “Happy Birthday” since yesterday morning. Adding to this, a leading local eveninger carried an article on her. So, a lot of people poured into our home in Mysore until late last night. By the time people left and we had dinner, it was past 10PM.

Each and every person who called my mother wished her a happy life. And, the obvious next question was “How is Mr. R doing ?” With her typical stoic boldness my mother’s reply would be “Well, he is improving, but at an extremely slow rate”.

Anyway, today is a brand new day. I have decided to restart my blog. I cannot hold too many things within me for much longer. I need an outlet. So, I decided to restart my blog and my poems. Blog first….

It has been more than five weeks since I have been in India. My wife joined me 2 days back. She resigned from her internship, postponed her graduation by a semester and is here with me. My bosses have been kind enough to allow me to work from here. I have decided to go on leave without pay if I don’t give my 100%. But, I won’t let that happen. I have a new found motivation to give out my best.

For the next several days or weeks, I plan to keep writing about my family and myself. If you think it’s boring, then I suggest that you visit this blog only after a few weeks. But, if you want to just support me (no, not pity, please) then join in.

The last one month has changed my life so much. If it was just the sickness in the family, then I guess I would have somehow coped with it. But, there are so many things going on around me. As they say “If it rains, it pours”. The numerous issues which I am dealing with, took a toll on me. Yes, for those of you who know me well, the chatter box who never shut his mouth, the person with better than average oratory skills, the so super confident me, slightly dominating personality, the one who influenced people easily, the one who made decisions for others, the one whose ideas were respected by people. Yes, the same me. The only difference is that, now I have been diagonized with “Depression”. Ahha, so the bold outward face is all bunkum, the real inside is very fragile, insecure, emotional and weak, huh ? LOL

Anyway, that willpower thingy is quite handy sometimes. I plan to come out of the depression without any medicines. My wife and my mother and all my friends are helping me. The problem was that for five solid weeks, I single handedly went in and out of the hospital five or six times daily. The physical and mental stress was unbearable is what the doctors think. Infact, one of the doctors at the hospital said that he would have been surprised if I didn’t have the symptoms, the way I moved around the hospital. Added to this, my perennial worry of my mother’s health and how she is dealing with the situation. And recently, financial worries have started too. Yes sir, when you go to the best hospital with the best doctors, they suck every penny out of you. Even earning in dollars isn’t enough when the sickness is so severe. And to top it, “He” keeps meeting me. Let me not get into the details of who “He” is. Let me just give you a glimpse and say that one day when I was getting in to the hospital, “He” welcomed me with a top of the lungs “Bastard”. I could never imagine someone calling me that. I looked up and “He” was standing. Finally, the hospital security was called in to calm him. That’s a different story altogether.

I think I haveΒ bored you all enough. Let me sign off for now. More to come. Have a great day !!!Β 

Explore posts in the same categories: Life Outside ICU

17 Comments on “Arise! Awake!!”

  1. Vijay Says:

    DS: So near and yet so far (you’ve been here all along).
    I am glad you have decided to start writing… any help you need we are here….whatever it may be..

  2. rk Says:

    dear dec-stud,
    really happy to see you with renewed vigour.
    waiting to read more!

    wish your mom a belated happy birthday! (know what? it was sanjay’s mom’s b-day y’day -feb-8th). had a great time there.

    wish and pray for Mr.R’s good health.

    take care
    bellur πŸ™‚

  3. Prashanth M Says:

    Happy to see you back, DS.

    And about happenings in your life – I know I don’t even know whats happening there, but still – something should happen even if you dont want that to happen. Ups and downs will always be there.

    Wishing for Mr. R’ health & always here for your support – int not just me, there is a whole gang here for your support πŸ™‚


  4. Veena Says:

    DS, enaadru help bekaadre phone maadi!! Take care & do well…
    Nice that you have decided to write & say all that out…

    Let GOD help you to deal with ‘HE’, if he is not part of your family its easy to deal with otherwise you may need some real energy!

    IF you plan to be here for some more time, We would be delighted to meet you too. One thing really bothered me, an NRI talking about financial problems, I always thought you guys are filthy rich πŸ™‚

    Take care & my hellos to Mrs. DS… Convey your mom our heartfelt wishes, my dads feb 7th!

  5. Srik Says:

    Welcome back DS. Your come back is a very much refreshing incident for u and for everyone of us. As all said above, u should just spend some time with your friends (AKA US ;)) to come out of this state of mind.
    2007 has been nightmarish till date for me as well. Just a hope can stir smiles across for us and everyone around us. We have to come out of our shell to deal with all the things.

    May u get all the courage to handle “HE”.

    P.S. I read yesterday’s VK and found out about your mom πŸ™‚ My heartiest wishes to her “DONI SAAGALI MUNDE HOGALI DOORA THEERAVA SERALI” !!!!!!
    Now you are not anonymous any more, I guess.

  6. Vijay Says:

    Hey Srik nice to see you.. you have been AWOL as well…

  7. mouna Says:

    ds, it’s really nice to see u back πŸ™‚

    willpower and hope is that which matters, it is that which carries us forward through everything. wish that we don’t lose both of it.

    @srik, come on, unhappiness surrounds us now and then, but there are many beautiful things in life in, which puts a smile on our face.

    one may find it trivial, when somebody anon tries to console another person. writing is one of the most powerful and successful means of communication. but the words of that anon-person does bring a smile on our face. it has happened to me!!

    if i’ve put a smile on your face, then, yippee, i’ve accomplished my mission πŸ™‚

  8. suparna Says:

    belated wishes to your mother. Is she a writer ?

    and looks like u r a doctor it ? anyways , looks like you had some tough time . remember ..tough time never lasts ..tough people do !! πŸ™‚ Good luck ..keep smiling and keep blogging too . With ur family supporting you , u dont worry too much ..cheers !

  9. @DS

    Glad to see you back. Hope things work out on the family/sickness front. Will keep you and yr family in my prayers, although I don’t pray too often. Take care buddy.

  10. Vittal Says:

    Welcome back! Missed you all these days!
    And, Umm…well, trust me on this – ‘hope’ works.

  11. decemberstud Says:

    @ Vijay : Thank you so much. A few Benjamin’s please, if you still have’em πŸ˜‰ Naah, just the fact that you commented within 2 minutes of me posting was refreshing. I will meet you somewhere someday…thanks !

    @ RK : Thank you. Yep, me back with a sharp pen. And, sure I will let my mother know. I hope you had a wonderful Feb 8th too, at Sanjay’s aprty.

    @ Prashanth : Thanks. Yep, I realize that the whole gang is there πŸ™‚ And, I have been dealing with things with the best of my abilities. So, it’s going to be good.

    @ Veena : Sure, thanks again. I do have the energy to deal with “He”, so I am fine πŸ™‚ I will convey the wishes to my mother. My wife has already seen the comments here. I should be here for few weeks. If things settle down here, we can definitely meet. And, no NRI’s in America are not filthy reach. Half my salary goes to my home mortgage payments….LOL

    @ Srik : Thanks and all the best to you too. I hope you do well also. LOL @ “Doni Sagali”. Naaah, I am still anonymous, just my mother isn’t πŸ˜‰

    @ Mouna : Absolutely, willpower and hope are the key. Thanks. And yes, you sure have put a smile on me a lot of times… your mission is definitely accomplished πŸ˜‰

    @ Suparna : Thanks, I will let my mother know. Nope, mom is not a writer and nope, I am not a doctor. I am curious how you came to that conclusions though πŸ™‚ Infact, all the nurses in the ICU had assumed that Iw as a doctor because I was on top of all the medications given and the different tests they were conducting. They were all quite surprised when i told them that I was nowhere close to beign a doctor.

    @ OI : Thanks mate. I hope so too. I pray very often, so I will make up for the days you skip πŸ˜‰ Infact, I have started chanting “Hanuman Chalisa” everyday now and it is so therapeutic.

    @ Vittal : Thank you. I missed it all too. Yes, I want to cling to ‘hope’. I really do.

  12. shiv Says:

    Welcome back buddy..
    Good that u decided to vent out ur emotions..

    Know its tough to be in such situation..i’m hopeful that you will fight it out..

    All the best..

  13. decemberstud Says:

    @ Shiv :
    Thanks, I hope to get out of it soon too.

    @ Silkboard :
    Thank you.

  14. tarlesubba Says:

    just found out it is you.

    how to send you a mail?

    hengidaare? yenaaythu?

  15. Arun Says:

    Best wishes to you and your family. Take care

  16. decemberstud Says:

    @ tarlesubba :
    You know how to send me a mail. To the same account where you have always sent me.

    @ Arun :
    Thanks boss….I need it.

    @ Govinda :
    I had to remove your comment. It was very easy to figure out who you are.

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