What Not To Write

Let me tell you that it is great to be an anonymous blogger. But, I am fast losing that status. It seems to me that more and more people are coming to know who I am. Now, that creates a problem. Suddenly, I am unable to write all that I want to write. See, there is a certain cushion, a certain buffer when you know you are anonymous.

For example, I cannot swear as much as I want to, since I am scared of losing the “good boy” tag. Oh well, that’s a bad example. But, you get the point, don’t you?

Prose or poetry, English or Kannada, I have always written about something which I have seen, experienced or lived through. That comes so naturally to me and I guess that is the norm in most cases. It makes it more difficult to write, now that I know I am not all that hidden.

In general, how much should a blogger reveal his/her private life? How many of these would be appropriate?

“Hey, I am in Love”

“Please come to my wedding”

“It’s a boy!!! And a girl!!! Yes, twins!!!”

“I don’t know what to say….I lost my father last week”

“Ahhh, end of a chapter…the divorce is final”

“My job as an underwear model is quite tiring”

Well, the list can grow endlessly. You see where I am going? My wife is more of a hush hush type. She does not want the whole World to know everything happening in her life. But, I am more open. If I am in the mood, I don’t mind writing a lot more things about me, my childhood, my life, my World, my friends and Little Johnny Green. At the end of the day, it is my decision to write what I want to. But, it is fair that I respect my wife’s wishes. So, I restrain from writing so many things I want to. I think that is the right thing to do.

This brings me back to my original point, that if I were truly anonymous, I would have had so much more freedom. And, that made me think if it would be a good idea to kill this blog and start a new one. I am not convinced that it is a good idea. For one, I will surely miss the regulars here. Two, I will still go to other blogs and comment there. So, people will somehow come to my new blog. They will go through the topics and style of my writing and easily figure out that it is my blog.

Anyway, I have digressed enough here. I am still not sure where to draw the line when it comes to writing. It is quite hard to write at a superficial level. Adios, not yet.

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43 Comments on “What Not To Write”

  1. Aram Says:

    I entirely agree with your arguments for annonymity, it strikes me that in the process of our interactions with the world as annon bloggers, we create an entirely new identity for ourselves where we are not shy, nor withdrawn, nor inhibited. The introvert, reserved guy suddenly erupts into an extrovert, no-holds-barred, boisterous, colorful personality.

    Such a transformation would be revolutionary and therefore to be welcomed because it brings out the best out of a person.

    However, ideally speaking, we would be truly enlightened only when we bring in total transparency in our lives and are never shy or afraid to express ANY thing. For that we would need to look inward, conquer ourselves and our inhibitions and outlook and then conquer our best halves and then the world.

    Easier said than done.


  2. In my understanding being annonymous brings out the truth in us. There are many times when you could not look into the eyes of the person and tell the truth but hypcritically line some nicity.

    I think another blog which is truely anon would bring out the best in you – some folks allways figure out who you are irrespectively.

    Utlitmately if you can start telling that truth without being annonymous – you have done a great thing and grown up personally!!

  3. Mysorean Says:

    There are ways to express yourself fully without letting people know whether you are stating the truth or just fictionising certain facts. Think it over. Don’t get bogged down just because people seem to know the real “You”. You can fool them, but beware, not all the time! 😉


  4. Anonymity gives you freedom??? I dont think so. It makes people take you more lightly. If I know some A as C, that doesnt matter, but I know him as C, as he appears to be. He might be A to other people, I care little for that fact.

    I feel we write to express our opinions, beliefs and perceptions about and of what we see, in terms of how we see. If I make my point clear, why that “good boy” tag is to be much worried? Anonymity helps in one thing…I can write some BS and get away from it, but at the first point, why think of writing a BS? Clearer thoughts and clearer image! There is no fear, tell your name, and still you can continue to be a “good boy” isnt it? I feel so.


  5. Yeah EGO part…cant help it 😉

  6. Aram Says:

    Just an argument wondering about ourselves, especially myself.

    Why do we appreciate something, some notion but are unable to implement it in our own private and public lives? Is this hypocrisy?

    These past few months we of the satya camp have wholeheartedly cheered the leader who showed us that truth is more important than anything else and that we should build ourselves, our relationships, our beliefs, in fact everything around us around truth, which we are told is supreme.

    All of us are human and we are prone to all kinds of thoughts: some great, some good, some bad, some abominable, some despicablel, yet some shameless.

    More than anything else, our “civilized” facade makes us think more than twice before saying or doing anything that does not meet with the approval of our other half or our friends or our elders or anyone at all who knows us. So, we develop inhibitions, we stop saying anything that might hurt the feelings of others. When facing a direct question, we try to be diplomatic.

    Yet, our inner compulsions make us want to shout what we really feel.

    So, we take on assumed names, we hide our identity, and enter the virtual world by stealth to let out the pressure from within us.

    That reminds me of the digambara sect of Jains: they have nothing to hide, no parts or full is private for them and I have seen these monks walking on the highway in midday, totally bare.

    Is there a message that they want to convey to us, we who want to cover the truth lest our nakedness should hurt the delicate feelings of others?

    Aren’t we deluding ourselves, aren’t we falsifying ourselves by trying to hide our real identities just to express some silly or unusually clever notions and thoughts to fellow human beings.

    In so expressing with our identities kept secret, aren’t we trying to seek the approval of our target audience?

    Are we living our life merely for approval ratings and to please others?

    What if we don’t give a damn and shout out loud that the emperor is just like the digambar monk?

    Is this going to be difficult at least for those of us who live in the greates democracy in the world?

    Ashwatthamo hatho hathaha ! And the good Lord’s conch sounded to drown out the truth !

    So, is the Kalla Krishna giving us a message that truthfulness is not good?

    The late Swami Rama of Pennsylvania has said that Satya is one of the important precepts in Ashtanga Yoga: he who accepts and practises truthfulness as the main focus in his life will find that whatever he says will come true, because such a person is incapable of untruth.

    Why do we think we are not up to leading a truthful life ?

  7. mouna Says:

    srik, you said all that i wanted to say! i don’t agree on one aspect: we take anon people on the basis of what is portrayed to us. if one anon does mean sense, then we would consider that person as on par with the rest of group. more lightly or not, depends on how that person appears to us.

    ds,
    (this will be a long one) 🙂
    being anon or not: now that u’ve blogged many articles, it’s hard to call u anon. as the term is not limited to a name. does it do much difference when an actual name is attached? i don’t think so… possibly, i too might have had a pseudonym(don’t knowwhether if it’s applicable here or not).. i’d still be the same person, with…. i don’t know what my blogger-friends think of me…

    and with respcet to writing everything and anything: i need not be so

  8. mouna Says:

    srik, you said all that i wanted to say! i don’t agree on one aspect: we take anon people on the basis of what is portrayed to us. if one anon does mean sense, then we would consider that person as on par with the rest of group. more lightly or not, depends on how that person appears to us.

    ds,
    (this will be a long one) 🙂
    being anon or not: now that u’ve blogged many articles, it’s hard to call u anon. as the term is not limited to a name. does it do much difference when an actual name is attached? i don’t think so… possibly, i too might have had a pseudonym(don’t know whether if it’s applicable here or not).. i’d still be the same person, with…. i don’t know what my blogger-friends think of me…

    and with respect to writing everything and anything: it need not be so. knowing that u recognize me as mouna, it’s still left to me as to what i want to post. all of us have a side which is hesitant. it’s alright for u to be so, as it’s the internet which connects us(i’m not sure whether i want to say this or not) it depends on your thoughts about different people.

    associating a person as ds, or by the real name does not vary much. it would be nice if we could know the real you 🙂

    ps: know what: you are young, and i’m younger. i guess the youngest amongst u guys. at times, i think that i shouldn’t be saying what i do. it leaves me in quandry.

  9. decemberstud Says:

    @ Aram:
    Well, some people may create an entirely different personalioty when blogging anon, but I am not sure a lot of people do that. I certainly don’t. I would have been more comfortable to write on a few subjects if I were truly anon, I hesitate to broach those subjects now.

    @ Mohan:
    Thanks for the comment. I agree that a truly anon blog may bring the best out of me, but truth always prevails. Even this blog will have all true stories, the only difference is that I won’t tell all the stories, that’s all.

    @ Mysorean:
    Thanks for visiting. No, the idea is certainly not to fool anyone 🙂 If I were to write a fiction, I would certainly state that. My point is that when a blogger tells true stories, how much should he/she really tell? I guess it boils down to comfort level. On that note, I am wondering why any blogger would want to lie? I can’t think of a reason.

    @ Srik:
    I disagree on some points. I was an anon blogger for you for a long time. Did that make you take my writings lightly? I doubt it, from the comments which you used to post. That brings up your point of, it doesn’t matter whether a person is A or C, which I agree with. I will tell you why anon gives freedom. The question is not whether you want to write BS, I don’t think anyone would be interested in the blog if people write BS, irresepctive of whetehr the person is anon or not. Anon gives you freedom becasue you can write more stuff, that’s all. For example, there is one brave Taslima Nasreen. Don’t you think a girl who went through what Taslima went through would find iteaslier to chronicle her story being an anon blogger than being known to everyone, especially if nobody else knows what she went through? I know I am digressing a little here, but you get the point, don’t you? And, the “good boy” thingy was just an example. I know I am one 😉

    @ Mouna:
    I do agree that once you read many posts, anon is just not applicable. Trust me, as far as I am concerned, everything is real here, but not complete, that’s all 🙂 And, that’s ebcuase of the hesitation which any person has, as you have rightly pointed out. And, age really doesn’t matter. You can say whatever you want, especially since it is the internet which connects us, as you say 😉

  10. some body Says:

    aram:

    “I entirely agree with your arguments for annonymity, it strikes me that in the process of our interactions with the world as annon bloggers, we create an entirely new identity for ourselves where we are not shy, nor withdrawn, nor inhibited. The introvert, reserved guy suddenly erupts into an extrovert, no-holds-barred, boisterous, colorful personality.”

    it is the opposite in my case; unfortunately, i am in the process of being unmasked! 🙂

    – s.b.

  11. decemberstud Says:

    @ SB:
    And, it really hasn’t changed me all that much. I just don’t use my real name, that’s all. Give me a chance to talk and I won’t close my mouth!!!

  12. some body Says:

    tangential topic, so what’s new?

    somehing tells me that you and nilagriva will enjoy this!

    – s.b.

  13. some body Says:

    aram:

    “Ashwatthamo hatho hathaha”

    to the best of my knowledge the quote was ‘ashwatthaamo hato kunjara’ (d.s./nilagriva, i was trying to confirm this when i found that other link).

    – s.b.

  14. Aram Says:

    @SB: The correct sequence of the dialogue, I think is:
    Parthasarathy (Lord Krishna)asks Dharmaraja to announce that Ashwatthama has died, and since Dharmaraja knows that an elephant named Ashwatthama has indeed died, he shouts that Ashwatthama has been slain (Ashwatthamo hatho hathaha)so that Dronacharya can hear it. Dronacharya hears it and wants confirmation from Dharmaraja (whom he knows to be always truthful) whether the dead body is that of a man or an elephant. He asks “Naro vaa kunjaro?”

    Dharmaraja who is incapable of falsehood, replies to say that it is an elephant. Anticipating Dharma’s reply, the Kalla Krishna blows his conch so as to drown Dharma’s reply from being heard.

    I think Nilagriva with his mastery of Samskrita is a better person to clarify on this.

  15. pArijAta Says:

    DS,
    I love writing anonymously too. And frankly, I don’t know the reason for this. Sometimes I want to reveal everything about myself, you know, that little biyadiya’s name is actually V___ and all that. But somehow I cannot bring myself to do that.
    You are right. Being truly anonymous gives you much more freedom in writing.

  16. Veena Says:

    I think we have spoken about this in the About section DS…! 🙂 so no more lines from me!

    Take Care,
    Veena

  17. decemberstud Says:

    @ SB:
    “so what’s new?” is quite unusual for a blog comment. But you and I are both famous for hijacking posts, so let me start. Little Johnny is quite green, very green actually. Infact, that’s what I wanted to blog and my wife wasn’t too comfortable with me putting in the details. If I do put in the details, readers will certainly be shocked. One, people will be surprised how evil a human being can be. Two, people will realize that pen is such a beautiful facade and there can be such an ugly face behind it. So, what will happen if I blog all that? The best I can expect is some sympathy comments (and some hate comments from Little Johnny, if you were lucky, you would have seen them a few months back, before I took them off). My wife’s point is that it’s not worth it. I am tending to agree, albeit slightly. Unfortunately, I am being targetted for absolutely no fault of mine. But with my patience, I keep smiling (literally) and that makes Little Johnny greener. I am handling it to the best of my abilities and I am laughing at the fact that Little Johnny is never at peace.

    Afterall, I didn’t hijack the blog all that, did I? 😉

    What else….let’s see….as I mentioned before, my wife is quite impressed with you, just by reading your Linda Spur comment. I have never seen a bigger BBC fan than her.

    I have always wondered how you get time to visit so many blogs, read posts and comments, and comment very effectivly? Perhaps, I haven’t seen another person like you in my blog world. BTW, that is a compliment and I am sure you have received tons of them already 🙂 I truly enjoy your comments on all the blogs we visit.

    That’s a nice link you put there. Junta like you and me talking Mahabharatha. But, pretty easy questions, don’t you think?

    BTW, I do think it is “ashwaththAmo hata kunjaraH”. That’s what I have known forever.

    So, that much for now…heavy? Sorry, I somehow had to get it out of the system, even if only one reader (I hope) understood.

    @ Aram:
    I do think SB is right. But yes, nIlagriva and pArijAta are certainly much more well read and smarter than I am 😉 So, they are the authority.They can give you complete details including ‘yAru, yArige, yAvAga hELidaru’.

    @ pArijAta:
    Yes, as you know I am in the same boat. How is V doing? BTW, don’t you want to tell who your husband is? 🙂

    @ Veena:
    Yes, we have and I still stick with my argument 🙂

  18. Aram Says:

    While I am grateful to sb ( is it somebody or SOME body?) for correcting my Samskrita quote, I must point out that the relevant point was about should we be elastic with truth or should we be like Dharmaraya and the digambar monks who have nothing to hide and will not shy away from being truthful come what may.

    If Dharmaraya was here ( like Ashwatthama, who is cursed with eternal life), and if he were blogging, he would have blogged in his own name and true address. It would never have occurred to him to use Aram’s or Some Body’s or even Annonymous names.

    So my question is: If we are hiding our identity while blogging, are we being truthful or are we simply using a white lie just so we get it out of our system what we want to tell to the world?

    I am not condemning anything – neither white lies, nor brown, nor the darkest black.

    The very story of Naro Vaa Kunjaro Vaa ( or whatever words) proves that even in those times of Dwapara, only Dharmaraja was truthful.

    I have enough proof of how values keep changing along with laws and geography.

    Will someone condescend to spend some time in clarifying the confusion in my mind?

  19. Veena Says:

    I second what DS told about somebody, almost enjoy s.b’s comments in many blogs I visit, though I don’t understand them many times completely.
    reminds me a plus b the whole square formula!!

  20. nilagriva Says:

    Since I saw my name in the comments, I’ll just say what it could be in Samskrit.

    “ashvatthAmeti kunjaro hataH” it could be. Split as “ashvatthAmA iti kunjaraH hataH”. Here ashvatthAman is a na-kArAnta masculine word, similar to rAjan. In the prathamA vibhakti, ashvatthAman is ashvatthAmA. “An elephant named ashvatthAmA (was) killed”

    Having said that, I don’t know what the original verse in the mahAbhArata is.

    In any case, I am partly anonymous. A few people (family and a circle of friends) online know me. I’ve shown my blog to a few people who are not netizens yet.

    Anonymity with a specific name is good, IMO. You can write out your thoughts with lesser inhibition (even though you’re known to several people) – but that is purely a psychological feeling.

    Of course, we aren’t really anonymous. We just think we are. Akin to a cat sipping milk with closed eyes.

    Being anonymous with a specific moniker (like me and DS) is not lying. Taking on a different name doesn’t make what you say right or not. Only if you pretend to be some other existing person would it be a lie. Anonymity (with a fixed moniker, of course) in the blog world is just harmless.

    Another benefit is that a lot of people know you only by your written word. People will get the full intensity of the thoughts of a person, unsullied by any notion engendered by physical appearances. But, even while being anonymous, people have bared their souls to the world.

    DS, I don’t think it is a problem. Just continue with status quo.

    In my case, it is my blog-nAma. I just liked the name and used it as my own.

    Anyway, as the popular adage goes “What’s in a name?”

  21. pArijAta Says:

    I think the original words in the Mahabharata is ಅಶ್ವತ್ಥಾಮಾ ಹತಃ ಕುಂಜರಃ || I remember that ಕುಂಜರಃ used to be printed differently, indicating that yudhiShThira spoke that word in a low voice.

    @DS:
    V is doing fine, thank you.

  22. Aram Says:

    @Nilagriva: Thanks a lot for clarifying it so beautifully — “Only if you pretend to be some other existing person would it be a lie. Anonymity (with a fixed moniker, of course) in the blog world is just harmless.”

    Even the Maharshi Valmiki’s real name, I think, was different. Also, Muddana’s, Kumara Vyaasa (Naranappa?), etc.

    DS: Thanks very much for allowing the use of your very popular blogsite.

  23. Aram Says:

    Dear World: In my last word on the topic of blogonaama (thanks Nilagriv, for coining a new word), the day we are able to do in the real world the same things that we do in the virtual world, that day will be a memorable day in our personal growth. Still, many of us, especially me, are not bothered about growth of this kind and we relish the annonymity. After all, it is not for nothing that stolen apples are always sweeter. The taste is heightened by the thrill. Thanks again, DS for coming up with such good thought-provoking issues.


  24. I have dedicated my Anon name to Late.Dheerendragwoopala

  25. bachodi Says:

    DS , i feel you should be blogging anonymous , if and only if you are writing something controversial.
    Deleting a blog and starting one more with some other name is a pain.

  26. oi Says:

    hey DS,

    I faced the same issue and taking your cue (not right now, but from before) I moved on too. I had kind of stopped the blogging business for a bit. One new commitment is not visitng so many blogs… or no, thats not right, not commenting so much. I too have started a brand new blog… where I can write whatever the hell i want and that includes a generous splattering of 4 letter words as well… (lol) actually just write whatever the hell I want. A lot of people know me on the prevous blog too.. and its quite incidental that you chose to write about this exactly at the same time that I was thinking about this.. Weird.

    Take care budy…and hope to meet u again on the blogosphere with a new identity 🙂

  27. dusitreallymatter Says:

    so, oi (opionated indane?) is no mor… long live oi.
    true2indane belifs, oi is borning agin – punurjanuma.
    chnces r many more blggerdeths xpctd with as mny reberths.

  28. John King Says:

    I tend to write whatever is on the top of my mind. Of course, with an uncensored and polarizing point of view you’re bound to get few regulars outside of people that actually know you. In my case, its not that bad of a deal.

  29. neelanjana Says:

    Just could not stop adding a comment, when I can 🙂

    About being anonymous, and writing what you want to – IMO, that is not so much an issue- I would write whatever I wanted either with a pseudoname or my real name. And after a while, readers would know the writer’s identity by the style rather than the handle.

    I used to post in some music related fora (sangeetham.com, forumhub.com, carnatica.net etc) with my real name, and there was a time when I stopped visiting those forums for a while. Later on, when I picked up, I chose a pen-name to post – Not because I wanted anonymity, but only because that is a name I liked, and somewhat uncommon name for a very well known raaga. Some posters recognized me almost immediately in spite of using a pen name! Many forumers know my real identity – since if someone sends in a private e-mail, I always sign my name 🙂

    Now, I use 3 different pen names – One for music related fora, one for kannada related stuff, and one on wordpress 😉 neelanjana is such a nice name – Isn’t it? And I also liked B R Chaya’s rendition of Meera bhakti geetegaLu translated by NSL Bhatta..

    About the ashwatthama business, the way I have heard it is : अश्वत्थामः हतः कुञ्जरः ; I don’t see any grammatical issue there – Ashwatthaama is dead ; the elephant is perfectly OK with samskrita sentence structure I suppose

    -neelanjana

  30. iznogoud Says:

    guyz: y is here so much discussion. even the law allows namechange n duzn’t ask y. u tired of a name, jest change it like u change ur shirt. wotz being sed is more impotent then who the heck is saying it.

  31. decemberstud Says:

    @ Aram / Veena / nilagriva / pArijAta:
    Thanks for the comments, info and updates !!!

    @ DG / bachodi:
    Yes, it is fun to be anon. I will continue with this blog.

    @ OI:
    Oh well, I so would like to come to your new blog, if only I knew what it was 😉 And, being anon is fine, but you better reply to emails at least. I was a wee bit worried!!!

    @ dusitreallymatter / John King / iznogoud:
    Thanks for stopping by. I do agree that you get all kinds of people when you blog. It is certainly no big deal. But it certainly is nice to be anon.

    @ neelanjana:
    Thanks for visiting and adding a comment. I do disagree partly. There is a certain difference between anon blogging and blogging with your real name, The former gives you a little more freedom. Yes, Chaya aunty (lol…there you go) is a good singer. I just think that her voice is way too immature. Thanks for the clarificzation on Ashwatthama thingy. That’s exactly what I had heard as well.

  32. AnferTuto Says:

    Hola faretaste
    mekodinosad

  33. some body Says:

    aram:

    “If Dharmaraya was here ( like Ashwatthama, who is cursed with eternal life), and if he were blogging, he would have blogged in his own name and true address. ”

    saw this today, and need to respond :-).

    now, we all agree as to who dharmaraya is (or was). what if draupadi calls yudhishthira by some pet name – “x-man” or something. no one else knows this nickname but draupadi. if yudhishthira blogs as “x-man” would you have a problem with that? would you know that x-man and yudhishthira are one and the same?

    d.s.:

    does your wife call you “december stud”? 😉

    – s.b.

  34. some body Says:

    d.s./veena:

    thanks for the compliments. thought i had responded, but guess not. 😦

    – s.b.


  35. @ SB:
    LOL…no she doesn’t. But, you don’t want to know what she calls me 😉

    Thanks for thanking the compliments…and it never ends.

  36. rads Says:

    This whole anon thing is such a quagmire. It’s like one of those tricky pesky annoying little decision one needs to make every time you post. It’s not like I decide – hey am rads and write anything and everything, I can be a Rads – but I am slowly with every post developing and contributing to how my readers are viewing me. A Rads-blogspot personality.
    It’s funny, but I suppose we ‘want’ and ‘need’ to be liked – no matter what identity we are. Real, a Rads or a Radish!

    Ultimately people are going to draw their own conclusions and like you, or not, based on what you write. So the question comes down to – whats your priority while writing a blog

    1. Cathartic exercise of writing your thoughts out
    2. Writing anonymously enough but yet wanting folks liking you

    For the former, if we don’t need validation why make your blog public in the 1st place.
    For the latter, we customize our real selves so we show only the good, happy, maybe just a peek into the bad on an occasional whim, so there’s just a hint of gray and by then folks are almost willing to forgive you since they love you anyway! 😀

    It takes a supreme amount of bravado and confidence to blog honest. Very much like how you live your real life in the real world, in your own way. To go left when the whole world’s going right.

    I know, there’s a really thin line between bravado and foolhardiness, and thats where wisdom and experience helps. To a certain extent. And I occasionally go overboard and join the fools! – :-))

    Sorry, sorta long comment on an older post 🙂

  37. Aram Says:

    @S.B.:

    “now, we all agree as to who dharmaraya is (or was). what if draupadi calls yudhishthira by some pet name – “x-man” or something. no one else knows this nickname but draupadi. if yudhishthira blogs as “x-man” would you have a problem with that? would you know that x-man and yudhishthira are one and the same?”

    Thanks for raising yet another point.

    No, I wouldn’t have any problem with anybody, even including the great Yudhishtira going about by their /his pet “X-Man” name. In fact, as you have yourself used the name Yudhishthira as against my Dharmaraya, he has been known throughout by multiple names. And one more name, even if unknown to us, would not make any difference to anybody BUT HIMSELF.

    My confusion has been fully answered by rads. “It takes a supreme amount of bravado and confidence to blog honest. Very much like how you live your real life in the real world, in your own way. To go left when the whole world’s going right.”

    Even if I am a stud full of confidence and super ego, it would take some amount of bravado for me to go around nude among the people who know me very well. That bravado would cease to be bravado if I were to live in a nudist colony.

    So, in a liars’ village, the lone satyavantha would be the odd man out.

    Therefore, it doesn’t make any difference to the world at large whether I blog in my own real name or not. But what I do would definitely make a difference to me the blogger – that too only if I had aspired to adopt honesty as the best policy in everything that I do which could be sometimes foolhardy.

    Thanks again S.B. for reviving this issue.

    @rads: I liked the phrase “cathartic exercise.” Thanks for putting the whole issue in proper perspective.

    – aram

  38. some body Says:

    d.s.:

    check out mad momma’s post that amrita refers to.

    – s.b.


  39. Aram got me into this debate by directing me to these very interesting comments.

    I blog under my own name, Aparna Muralidhar and I wanted to get a word in edgewise 😉 I didn’t go anonymous simply because it just never struck me to do that; it’s not a conscious decision to “be honest” – I have to agree with everyone – anonymity does afford you more license but I’m not very sure how you would reconcile your real self with your ‘other’ self; to me, it seems terribly complicated and tiresome; as I see it, if you want to say things you can’t say under your real name, the whole point of saying it is defeated unless of course you’re being anonymous in an effort to protect someone else (like decemberstud’s wife) about which I’m not authorized to comment.

    I really enjoyed reading every one of these comments and of course, the article itself!

  40. rads Says:

    Aparna – The same blog I have now, I’d happily linked with my real persona on orkut [don’t ask why am there, long story!] only to discover a whole trail of folks reading me regularly and get this, NOT commenting. Now, thats unsettling.

    It’s an issue when
    1. real folks discover you and tell you about it, so we all deal with it.
    2. discovered and not flushed out. That’s sneaky and worse imho.

    I have a friend’s daughter who reads me,. I dont mind except for the fact that she’s a tattler to her mom who sits on a moral high horse and blurts it out at the most crowded and social of places. Intially I let it bother me, not anymore. What i write on my blog is me. If anyone doesn’t like it, they really have to go find some other reading material. As juvenile as that sounds, I strongly believe in it.

    aram – Glad it helped. But it is true isn’t it it’s catharsis with a feel good factor?

    sb – read Amrita’s post, and earlier on MM’s – we can argue this till the cows come home, but finally each has to do what works for them AND be at peace with it.

  41. Amrita Says:

    Hi DS – came here via S.B. and reading what you and a couple of others had to say made me look at my own blogging from another side: I don’t have a husband or anything and I generally leave my family out but if I were living with another person 24/7 they’d inevitably show up somewhere on the blog I think. And in that case, would I want them to know about it? Would it be a breach of confidence? Would I tell someone I was dating seriously about my blog?

    Great, more questions! 😀

  42. Aram Says:

    @rads: yes, catharsis is always good.
    @s.b.: thanks again for taking us to a similar discussion elsewhere.

    Good arguments on both sides.

    To quote rads again: “but finally each has to do what works for them AND be at peace with it.”


  43. followed amrita’s post on mine and got here. in the same dilemma. i miss the anonymity I am slowly losing.. and yet, i need to cling on to it for the husband’s sake. for us bloggers who dont consider anything a sacred cow, it’s good to have a spouse who reigns us in… if not obviously, by their sheer presence.


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