P-In ‘Drop’ Silence

This post is ‘inspired’ by rads’ ramblings on female P-etiquette here. It seems to me that the female species has a lot of misconception on what happens behind the men’s door. We all do it and we will keep doing it forever, so why not dedicate a post for that. I think it’s best described with examples. Here are some:

1. You finish your business, wash your hands and walk towards the door. This older man is standing near the door as if he is waiting for you to open the door for him. You don’t wonder why he is standing there. You just hold the door knob to open the door and get out. Immediately the old man starts laughing and says “Ha Ha, why did you have to wash the hands if you were touching this door? I wait for someone else to always open the door because there are many men who don’t wash their hands and they touch this door. If you open the door yourself, why do you want to wash your hands?” and walks away right behind you, making sure no part of his body touches the door. You sigh! Maybe he is right, maybe you can conserve water by not washing the hand. Oh well, you are uncomfortable not washing your hands. So, you still wash your hands and you still touch the door knob. Yuck!

2. You get inside, curse yourself for wearing Levis 501’s, and before you realize you start hearing all kinds of grunts, sighs and happy moans from the stall nearby. Since this didn’t require any reaction from your part, you finish the job, wash your hands (yes) and are about to leave, when the person from the stall walks out. It’s your boss. You don’t know what to say, so you just walk out and start drinking water in the nearby water fountain. After a while boss walks behind you and starts making conversation. he tells you ALL the details about the big re-org which is happening and also discusses your appraisal and says that you are one of his best employees!!!

3. You are about to walk out and suddenly the stall door opens. It’s your project lead and he gives biggest sheepish grin. you just nod your head and walk out. You remember that he is suffering from diarrhea for the past few days. You try to forget that you remembered it. After a while, the project lead walks by your cube and keeps asking dumb technical questions. You answer all of them. he thanks you and goes away. Now, there’s a closure.

4. You just started and your manager comes and stands next to you and starts his business. Just a shy smile from both, no talk, no words. You are done, he is done. Both of you wash your hands (yes) and walk away.

5. You go in and start doing what you do. Suddenly tens of guys walk in and before you know all the spots are occupied. Since you were the first one, you occupied the first available spot. You finish your thing, and turn back and see a guy standing right behind you, waiting for you to finish and walk out, so that he can take the spot You thank God that you didn’t see him stare at you while you were doing.

6. You walk in and you meet your colleague who wears really really tight shirts. He puts his hands above his head and yawns. he makes sure that everyone around knows whether he is wearing boxers or briefs that day. You realize that he does the same thing in meetings and lunches as well. You don’t utter a word. You wait for him to leave. He leaves, and then you take your spot.

7. You get up from your cube and go towards the door with the triangular sign to finish the business. You see a yellow board in front of the door. You expect a board which says “Restroom Closed”. But after reading it, you realize that the janitor doesn’t know English and thus used the wrong board. You can’t control laughing. You just walk away. The board reads “Men Working”!!! 

Explore posts in the same categories: Humor, Junk

7 Comments on “P-In ‘Drop’ Silence”

  1. rads Says:

    OH MY GOD! You really did post! :O

    Ok, lemme read completely and comment again. Upma’s burning on the stove!

  2. Vasuki Says:

    There is an interesting P situation!
    You walk into a rest room having two pee pots.
    P1 is unflushed, so you use P2 and flush it.
    On your way out, you meet a man entering the rest room.
    And suddenly you realize that he would proceed towards P1 and think that you are an a$$hole who never flushes! :))

  3. rads Says:

    hahahahah! read it all now, and that was funny! 🙂

    everything’s work for you guys eh? :p

  4. parijaatha Says:

    Amazing post!

  5. D.S. – re. example 1, that’s why I love those places that have the trash cans right next to the door. Wipe hands, open door with napkin & throw. Two uses for the price of one.

  6. @ rads:
    Well not everything 😉

    @ Vasuki:
    Dude, right on. It’s such a common thing. One of my friends always makes it a point to flush both P1 and P2. I am like, no way will I go and flush P1, even the other dude walking in thinks I am a junk, let him.

    @ parijaatha:

    @ BS:
    Well, true. But, most places don’t have them and it sucks.

  7. Aram Says:

    Your p on p reminded me of two things:-

    (i) a former PM whose longevity of a century was attributed to the way he used his p.
    (ii)an old line from some Kannada poet ( Was it Joe Kumara’s creator? not sure)who said something about the incomparable pleasure of peeing in the middle of a deserted maidaan (“bataa bayalaaga ucchee hoydaanga?”).

    Soon after I read your post, I happened to see on the TV a silly program about new inventions one of which offered a solution to situations about what to do when you experience urgency and cannot find Men’s room anywhere?

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