Archive for the ‘India’ category

Communists At Their Best

July 23, 2008

Just when I think that they cannot beat their previous circus act, they come up with a brand new one!!! CPM decided to oust Somnath Chatterjee from the party because the veteran politician brought ‘shame’ to the party.

With all the political parties fighting hard to win the “worst party in Independent India” award, I have to give it to the communists. They have far outpaced the peers. Some idiot named D. Raja comes on TV and claims that Chatterjee was expelled from the party “because he disobeyed the constitution”. Alright, I agree that English is certainly not one of D. Raja’s strengths. But to call a person – who upheld the dignity of the speaker’s chair – as someone who broke the rules of the constitution is absurd, immature and illogical.

So, for one, D. Rajas of the party should NOT come and open their mouth. But then, the smart mouths like Karats have a totally different problem. They live 100 years back!!! And, it’s impossible to bring them back to the present time.

There’s only one solution for this. Our dear Bengali babus in and around Calcutta should realize the blunder they have been committing by electing jokers to the Lok Sabha. Guys, it’s time to wake up and vote for the Congress, or the Trinamool, or the BJP or whatever the other junk is.

Every politician in India – from Advani to Manmohan Singh (read as Sonia Gandhi) – have to be ashamed looking back at the events which happened over the last one week. But, the communists have the uncanny ability to beat them all. Throwing Somnath Chatterjee out of the party is the biggest shame on the party. Oh wait a second, there’s always a new day. I am sure they have something better up their sleeve. They are bound to come up with a bigger joke tomorrow!!!


Chak De India

March 10, 2008

Now that the Indian media has branded this as the worst ever day for Indian hockey, for once something other than cricket is on every Indian’s mind. Pargat Singh and Dhanraj Pillai have been calling for a management overhaul at IHF since the news broke out that we will not be going to Beijing for the Olympics.

For a second, let’s stop reading the headlines which are so colorful and appealing from “National Game or National Shame” to “Black Day!!!” Let’s forget for a minute that KPS Gill is a “Good Cop Gone Bad” or that Mani Shankar Aiyer has expressed his inability to interfere in the affairs of IHF. Can the players and the public breathe and relax for a few dyas, please?

My wife summed it up well. Indian media does not care when we do well in Indian hockey, but that’s all the news is when the Indian hockey team sucks. The media suddenly realizes the importance of our “National Game”. Oh well, what happened today is almost like singing National Anthem backwards…please!!!

I am very sad too. I always knew “Chak De” was just a movie. We are an emotional bunch and sometimes we go too far and assume that reel life is almost the same as real life.

Sure, bring in the bricks and let there be a top level overhaul in Indian hockey. But, do it with some sense, respect and decency. More than the Indian Hockey Federation, the Indian media should be ashamed at the way in which the whole episode has turned out. Whatever happened to responsible journalism?

A True Star

February 13, 2008

Aamir Khan is a genius!!! I don’t think he can be described in any other way. He should not be clubbed in the elite group with Rajesh Khanna, Amitabh Bachchan, and Shahruh Khan. He is so much more. He will eventually have his name etched along Latha Mangeshkar, Raj Kapoor and Satyajith Ray.

From the cute faced acting in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak to the brilliant directing in Taare Zameen Par, Aamir Khan has always excelled. The fact I like about him is that he is extremely choosy. And to be choosy, you have to be really good and you need to know that you are that good. For the most part, he has picked the right scripts and right movies. His topic selection is varied, colorful and intense. It is quite hard not to accept the park roaming romantic hero roles all the time and be successful in bollywood.

I watched Taare Zameen Par recently. What amazed me was the depth and intensity in the movie. The kid Darsheel has certainly done a tremendous job. But, Aamir Khan gets a lot of credit for making the kid do such a fantastic job. A fine story line and a real problem has been portrayed with so much sensitivity. Of course, Shankar Mahadevan‘s rendition of the song ‘Maa’ is above the World.

The only thing in the movie which was far from truth was Aamir Khan’s clothes. Which school teacher in India wears torn and worn low-rise jeans showing off his underwear band and shakes his bum every other minute? I thought that was the staple diet of IT folks in California!!!

And, I don’t think I have mentioned this before. Aamir Khan is a close relative of mine. He is my cousin’s wife’s cousin’s second cousin’s husband. To put it simply, my brother-in-law. Or easier, my older brother. Oh well, we have so many things in common!!! 🙂

Newest Word In English Language

January 6, 2008


To falsify or mislead on cricket ground.
To deceive and cheat in the game of cricket.
To lie and claim innocence.

A person who claims that the opposite team’s batsman is out in the game of cricket, even though he is fully aware that the batsman was not out.
A cricket captain who lack integrity.
A person who makes mockery out of the gentleman’s game.

An Open Letter To BCCI

January 6, 2008

The Powerful People at BCCI

Dear All,

I am sure you have witnessed the horror in SCG. I am sure your blood is boiling at the same temperature as mine. But, there is a key difference between you and me. You can make decisions which alter the future of this series. You can make decisions which will heal millions of injured hearts. You have the power to stop the nonsense. You have the tools to right the wrong. Do it. Do it now!!! What I can do is just blurt out different options. You have the liberty to choose the best one. But, you have to choose one, if you have an iota of pride.

Lodge a formal complaint against all three umpires in the Sydney test. Specifically, make sure ICC unceremoniously fires Steve Bucknor from his job. If Bucknor decides to relinquish the job on his own (if that will ever happen!), ICC should not accept it. BCCI should insist on ICC removing Bucknor.

Call back Indian cricket team from Australia. If the other cricketing nations think BCCI whines, so be it. If they remind you of Gandhi and his principle of showing the other cheek when one cheek is slapped, you need to educate them on bhagavadgIta and Krishna, who famously said that a thorn should always be removed using another thorn.

On the other hand, if you are greedy and are afraid of losing a lot of money by pulling back the Indian team, here is another idea. My friend thinks that you should call all the current members of Indian cricket team back and send an India ‘B’ team or even an India ‘C’ team. Yes, send a new bunch of sixteen players who have never played international cricket. At least that way, you are making a statement.

Sledging was invented by Australians, I am sure you are well aware of that. Defend Harbhajan Singh. Threaten ICC that you will pull out of key tournaments. ICC needs you. They know you have money. Without India, World cricket is dead. You are a cricketing super power. For once, act like one!!!

One more injured soldier!!!

Twenty20 – Jokers and Geniuses

September 19, 2007

I am convinced that Twenty20 is not for people like me. They killed a really nice game called cricket and made it a joke. These days, nobody cares for good cricketing shots, brilliant fielding and wonderful bowling. Talking of which, we should invent a bowling machine. Do we really need a bowler whose only goal in playing Twenty20 is to somehow manage to avoid humiliation?

That said, watch the Yuvraj 6’s below. All clean shots and brilliant hits. Now, this is what I call real cricket 😉 In a nutshell, this form of cricket makes a joker out of a bowler and shows the genius of a real batsman. I know I had sworn that I wouldn’t ever watch Indian cricket. Hey, but that was one-dayers 😉

Oh, and can someone pull Ravi Shastri out of the commentary box? You will be doing a great service to this World!!!

Indian Stereotypes

August 16, 2007

With so much diversity in India, branding and stereotyping is expected. Here is my take. I have included people who speak the following languages: Bengali, Gujarati, Hindi, Kannada, Marathi, Malayalam, Oriya, Punjabi, Tami, Telugu. I am sure you are all smart enough to figure out who is who. 

  • Can you speak my mother tongue? No? Alright, I will settle for English, only if you speak in my accent.
  • Of course I can speak your mother tongue. I can speak any language other than my own mother tongue. I have to admit that I do have a soft corner for English.
  • Can you understand every word of your National anthem? So, what’s wrong with me and my ego?
  • You are laughing at my English grammar? Wait until you hear my accent. And, I am quite loud.
  • Sure, I am mediocre. But why do you care? Anyway I move around only with people from my state. And honestly, my only concern in life is my best friend’s salary.
  • Yes really, that is my mother tongue. I am from India….God promise.
  • I am the king. Lick my feet.
  • I hate anyone who is not my religion. I hate anyone who is not from my state. I hate anyone who doesn’t speak my language. And really, I prefer you associate me with North more than South.
  • Yeah I am fat. So what? Go ahead and crack one more joke on me.
  • No really, I am speaking English. it just sounds like my mother tongue that’s all.