Archive for the ‘NC17’ category

NPR = Nasty Public Radio?

July 14, 2008

I was listening to ‘Talk of the Nation’ on NPR while driving home for lunch and listened intently at the discussions surrounding innocent people being unjustly accused by the law enforcement agencies and media and the traumatic experiences around it. They also talked about how different people build their lives after the ordeal.

Immediately what stuck my mind was the Aarushi murder case in India, which is the prime headline news from past two months. Her father Dr. Rajesh Talwar was kept behind bars for 49 days and suddenly police realized their mistake last week and released him. Can you imagine his plight? Forget grieving for his daughter’s loss, that had to wait 50 days!!! Media played such a bad role, coming up with all kinds of juicy stories from Dr. Talwar having an affair with some other person, to Aarushi’s character assasination.

Dr. Talwar’s case deserves at least a few lines of my post. I should probably dedicate an entire post some day. Coming back to the topic, I thought of calling NPR and telling them about Dr. Talwar’s case. Since California has a new law that we cannot talk on our cell phone hand set while driving, I didn’t want to risk getting a ticket. It was just a few minutes from my home anyway.

I rushed into my home, picked up the phone and immediately called the toll-free number and to my horror(!) got the following recorded message:

“Hey there sexy guy, welcome to an exciting new way to go live one-on-one with hot horny girls waiting right now to talk to you. Lie back baaaby, relaaaaax and get ready to meet real local students, housewives and working girls from all over the country. Hundreds of hot girls call free all day and night because we loooove nasty talk as much as you do.”

I immediately disconnected and checked the number I had called. I had pressed ‘1-866’ instead of ‘1-800’, which confirmed that ‘N’ in NPR still stood for ‘National’.

P.S: The only reason I know the complete message from that 1-866 number is because I called the number another 3 times to just get the complete message correctly so that I can blog this story. I swear, that was the only reason 😉

Castro Street Fair

October 8, 2007

Kids: Don’t even dare to read any further. You see, this post describes an ‘adult’ event and you guys should be at least 18 to read this. Go back to Dora or Barney. 

Eight of us – three married guys and wives, one married guy whose wife is in India and an unmarried guy – decided to drive to Castro Street in San Francisco to see what’s the big deal about Castro Street Fair. We drove in three cars. The traffic was horrible, to say the least. I cannot recall traffic being this bad, in and around San Francisco. So, as you can imagine, we spent hours on the road.

When we reached Castro Street, there was a bigger problem. There was hardly any parking available. Cars were parked in all the roads around Castro. After driving around for several minutes, we saw two guys walking towards a car. They looked like they were headed back home. So, I stopped my car and asked them if they were going to take their car out. They were very nice and asked me to follow them to the next street. And finally I managed to get a spot. There were three other girls who came by and pulled out an SUV which was parked right behind my car. One of the girls wore a mini skirt and almost nothing on top. Well, there were two star shaped shining papers stuck on the tips of her, you know what. So, as I said, it was ‘almost’ nothing. At that instant, we knew what we were getting into.

All the food stalls were right at the beginning. I was so happy that once we pass those stalls, the odor would be all gone. I always like to see food stalls clubbed together in any fair. Right after the food stalls, there was this big stage where a guy was giving a speech and hundreds others were listening. Within two minutes I realized that the speech was all about equal opportunity and gay marriages. OK, by this time you should have realized that when I use the word ‘gay’ in this post, it doesn’t mean happy. If you didn’t realize that, go back to Dora and Barney. And if you didn’t know, Castro Street is the gay Mecca (to be politically correct, I should say gay headquarters) of San Francisco.

The speaker was loud and emotional. He was surprised, amazed and aghast that government was interfering in the personal lives. He quite didn’t understand why government poked it’s nose in the issues of same sex marriages. As for the hundreds, who were listening to his speech, most of them already knew what he was talking about, or didn’t find his speech all that interesting (I am sure it was nowhere close to “I have a dream” speech).

I looked around and there was this guy standing next to me who had no shirt on, and had forcibly tried and pulled down his pants as much as he could. The way he talked to other guys around him made it quite obvious that he was trying very hard. I thought it was quite hilarious.

We were walking down the street and came across a jewellery store. My wife was instantly attracted to that store. She went in and tried all the antique rings they had. She liked several of them, but the ones she liked did not fit her right. So, she decided not to buy any, even though I was hoping she would buy a few. I thought some of them really looked good on her. But, I didn’t want to force her since they weren’t of the right size.

By this time, we were used to seeing several shirtless men, some really buff and fit and several others overweight with a big gut. My wife suddenly nudged me to look up. In the third floor balcony near by, we saw a few young guys talking and laughing and checking out the crowd below. They reminded me of lifeguards in charge of a swimming pool.

The guys on top were essentially watching something happening, a few feet from where we were standing, and were commenting on that. We walked down a few feet to see what the fuss was. There were two in-shape guys standing there, wearing nothing but really tight briefs with the word ‘COLT’ written all over it. And, there was a line of girls waiting to be photographed with them (Surprise, I didn’t see any boy waiting to take his picture with them!). A little search on internet tells you that ‘COLT’ is a company which makes adult movies. Ahhha, so I guess the two guys must be adult movie stars. I teased my wife to see if she wanted a picture as well. She vehemently said ‘No’.  I think the long queue put her off (If you have read my posts enough, you know that I tease my wife way too much and she has been a good sport always. It makes me like her more 🙂 ).

Walking further down, we came across a store which was selling men’s silk boxerbriefs. And the funny thing is that the guy who was selling them was wearing nothing but a silk boxerbrief. Some marketing strategy, huh? Anyway, since I don’t wear boxerbriefs and I don’t wear silk, we moved on (OK, too much information!).

Remember, Castro is not all gay, it’s lesbian too. We saw girls kissing each other, passionately, I might add. You don’t get to watch that everyday, do you? Even though the girl-kissing-girl was not as common as guy-kissing-guy, they were certainly easy to spot.

By this time, we had covered more than half the distance. We were suddenly in the middle of a huge crowd and everyone was staring at the third floor balcony of another apartment. There were a few well built guys standing there (shirtless, needless to say). Something must have happened just then, one of the guys was pulling his shorts back up his white briefs. He was laughing, so was the crowd. I was still trying to figure out what had happened. There was another guy on the balcony who was wearing nothing but a yellow brief, and he seemed to be engaged in some kind of a ‘conversation’ with the crowd below. All the guys in the balcony had several strings of beads (reminds you of Mardi Gras, huh?). And then I heard a few guys around me saying stuff like “That guy really wants to show”, “He is a playboy”, “I think he is going to do it now”.

And lo, within a second, the guy had pulled his underwear down and showing his ‘stuff”. And my wife is like “Oh my God, this country is very liberal”. We walked away laughing. At that time we started to spot a few different planes in the sky. There was an air show going on in San Francisco.

I did not feel uneasy, but it was certainly different, not something you see in all the fairs. Like any other fair, it was crowded and noisy and full of life. It was so much more colorful and very very different. And for people like us, it showed that the World is so vast and it has so many shades. There are several people who have very less inhibitions and are extremely liberal. Most of us can never be that free, but I am sure we are all educated and understanding enough to appreciate it.

Our gang then decided to drive upto Golden Gate Bridge. It was yet another traffic nightmare. Finally we managed to reach the parking lot in one piece. It was a perfect day, absolutely no clouds. We took a walk on the bridge. San Francisco looked beautiful, and it occurred to me again that this city is perhaps the most beautiful city in the country.

We had dinner at an Italian restaurant, and drove back home to be on time to watch the latest episode of ‘Desperate Housewives’. It was a beautiful Sunday.