tAta, So Long!!!

One more death in the family. 2007 has not turned out to be anywhere close to being an average year. tAta just passed away. He was 105. My mother, both my uncles and an aunt were at my house in Mysooru when tAta breathed his last.

I am not exaggerating when I say that almost everyone in Mysooru knew him. He was perhaps the oldest living person in Mysooru until today. His greatest strength was his outlook on life and will to live. Until recently, he shaved and took bath on his own. Diet was never in his dictionary, he exercised regularly, and he had absolutely no diseases. This was the real natural death which everyone wishes for. He did not suffer at all, he just faded away.

From my writing abilities to the oratory skills, there is so much of him in me. I need more time for introspection. I need time to cherish the thousands of sweet moments. I will certainly write more about him later.

May his soul rest in peace!!!

It’s Getting Hot In Here, So Take Off All Your Clothes

Alright, Putin likes Iran, Turkey is all set to enter Iraq from the North and Democrats have collected so much more money than the Republicans in the race for US Presidential elections. All serious stuff, huh?

On the other hand, what makes me laugh everyday is some of the search phrases used, to enter my blog. I see at least one phrase everyday which is very funny. But, the last two days have been different. Not only are they funny, but some of them are downright NC17. Such phrases should take people to some adult blogs, not this blog. Or maybe it’s time to rate this blog as NC17 officially. Sigh!!! Here is a small sample, enjoy:

“picture’s of shoaib malik’s wife”

“SB in mandarin”

“stud for my wife”

“irfan pathan shirtless”

MBA Is Life, Engineering Is A Lie

I have started to appreciate management skills and principles, like never before. Last week has been an eye-opener.

At the work front, nothing has changed. What made me respect management skills so much more is something which is happening at the personal front. Let me explain.

Three couples (including my wife and I) decided to present a variety show for the local Kannada organization’s upcoming program. I was the one who worked with the Kannada committee members to define and describe the program. I was the one who came up with bulk of the initial list of programs and I was the one who is doing most of the co-ordinating. In a nutshell, I ended up being the unofficial ‘leader’ of the group.

We have our first meeting to decide on the program format. We go home afetr finalizing the list. Next day, one person from our group calls my wife and wants to talk to her. This person’s qualm is that we are involving way too many people in the program and that six of us do not have enough ‘stage time’. And, she also wants to make sure that this program does not give rise to unnecessary ‘mis-understandings’ between us. She also suggests that the third couple in our team may also want to give a few solo performances. Basically, she says that my wife and I decided on the whole thing and we are thrusting it on them to accept it. She doesn’t say that it in as many words, but she intends to say that.

So, we have the meeting again. And, we find out that the third couple (who hadn’t opened their mouth until now) was actually very keen and interested in the way the program was already chalked out. That means that they were thinking on the same lines as we were. But, the second couple (who had talked to my wife) was in no mood to relent. I had to use all possible management tactics that I knew to make sure that the tempers didn’t flare. I did agree for the second couple to have their own time slot. Nobody had problems with that.

The next day, the organizers call me and tell me that we have too many songs in our show and we need to cut it. I tell them about the revised program list and they are happy. A few days after that, they call again saying that they still think that we have too much emphasis on music. I don’t get their logic. The same program was fine a few days back, and now it’s no longer acceptable (My wife has her own conspiracy theories about this, but I won’t get into the details).

As you can imagine, I had such a fun time co-ordinating the efforts and being the bridge between the organizing committee and the core group of six participants. This is just the first week. The actual program is not going to happen for another month.

Never again will I look at an MBA graduate with a “you talk nonsense and you make free money, what do you know about real work and technical orgasms” look. Managers, salut!!!

Castro Street Fair

Kids: Don’t even dare to read any further. You see, this post describes an ‘adult’ event and you guys should be at least 18 to read this. Go back to Dora or Barney. 

Eight of us – three married guys and wives, one married guy whose wife is in India and an unmarried guy – decided to drive to Castro Street in San Francisco to see what’s the big deal about Castro Street Fair. We drove in three cars. The traffic was horrible, to say the least. I cannot recall traffic being this bad, in and around San Francisco. So, as you can imagine, we spent hours on the road.

When we reached Castro Street, there was a bigger problem. There was hardly any parking available. Cars were parked in all the roads around Castro. After driving around for several minutes, we saw two guys walking towards a car. They looked like they were headed back home. So, I stopped my car and asked them if they were going to take their car out. They were very nice and asked me to follow them to the next street. And finally I managed to get a spot. There were three other girls who came by and pulled out an SUV which was parked right behind my car. One of the girls wore a mini skirt and almost nothing on top. Well, there were two star shaped shining papers stuck on the tips of her, you know what. So, as I said, it was ‘almost’ nothing. At that instant, we knew what we were getting into.

All the food stalls were right at the beginning. I was so happy that once we pass those stalls, the odor would be all gone. I always like to see food stalls clubbed together in any fair. Right after the food stalls, there was this big stage where a guy was giving a speech and hundreds others were listening. Within two minutes I realized that the speech was all about equal opportunity and gay marriages. OK, by this time you should have realized that when I use the word ‘gay’ in this post, it doesn’t mean happy. If you didn’t realize that, go back to Dora and Barney. And if you didn’t know, Castro Street is the gay Mecca (to be politically correct, I should say gay headquarters) of San Francisco.

The speaker was loud and emotional. He was surprised, amazed and aghast that government was interfering in the personal lives. He quite didn’t understand why government poked it’s nose in the issues of same sex marriages. As for the hundreds, who were listening to his speech, most of them already knew what he was talking about, or didn’t find his speech all that interesting (I am sure it was nowhere close to “I have a dream” speech).

I looked around and there was this guy standing next to me who had no shirt on, and had forcibly tried and pulled down his pants as much as he could. The way he talked to other guys around him made it quite obvious that he was trying very hard. I thought it was quite hilarious.

We were walking down the street and came across a jewellery store. My wife was instantly attracted to that store. She went in and tried all the antique rings they had. She liked several of them, but the ones she liked did not fit her right. So, she decided not to buy any, even though I was hoping she would buy a few. I thought some of them really looked good on her. But, I didn’t want to force her since they weren’t of the right size.

By this time, we were used to seeing several shirtless men, some really buff and fit and several others overweight with a big gut. My wife suddenly nudged me to look up. In the third floor balcony near by, we saw a few young guys talking and laughing and checking out the crowd below. They reminded me of lifeguards in charge of a swimming pool.

The guys on top were essentially watching something happening, a few feet from where we were standing, and were commenting on that. We walked down a few feet to see what the fuss was. There were two in-shape guys standing there, wearing nothing but really tight briefs with the word ‘COLT’ written all over it. And, there was a line of girls waiting to be photographed with them (Surprise, I didn’t see any boy waiting to take his picture with them!). A little search on internet tells you that ‘COLT’ is a company which makes adult movies. Ahhha, so I guess the two guys must be adult movie stars. I teased my wife to see if she wanted a picture as well. She vehemently said ‘No’.  I think the long queue put her off (If you have read my posts enough, you know that I tease my wife way too much and she has been a good sport always. It makes me like her more 🙂 ).

Walking further down, we came across a store which was selling men’s silk boxerbriefs. And the funny thing is that the guy who was selling them was wearing nothing but a silk boxerbrief. Some marketing strategy, huh? Anyway, since I don’t wear boxerbriefs and I don’t wear silk, we moved on (OK, too much information!).

Remember, Castro is not all gay, it’s lesbian too. We saw girls kissing each other, passionately, I might add. You don’t get to watch that everyday, do you? Even though the girl-kissing-girl was not as common as guy-kissing-guy, they were certainly easy to spot.

By this time, we had covered more than half the distance. We were suddenly in the middle of a huge crowd and everyone was staring at the third floor balcony of another apartment. There were a few well built guys standing there (shirtless, needless to say). Something must have happened just then, one of the guys was pulling his shorts back up his white briefs. He was laughing, so was the crowd. I was still trying to figure out what had happened. There was another guy on the balcony who was wearing nothing but a yellow brief, and he seemed to be engaged in some kind of a ‘conversation’ with the crowd below. All the guys in the balcony had several strings of beads (reminds you of Mardi Gras, huh?). And then I heard a few guys around me saying stuff like “That guy really wants to show”, “He is a playboy”, “I think he is going to do it now”.

And lo, within a second, the guy had pulled his underwear down and showing his ‘stuff”. And my wife is like “Oh my God, this country is very liberal”. We walked away laughing. At that time we started to spot a few different planes in the sky. There was an air show going on in San Francisco.

I did not feel uneasy, but it was certainly different, not something you see in all the fairs. Like any other fair, it was crowded and noisy and full of life. It was so much more colorful and very very different. And for people like us, it showed that the World is so vast and it has so many shades. There are several people who have very less inhibitions and are extremely liberal. Most of us can never be that free, but I am sure we are all educated and understanding enough to appreciate it.

Our gang then decided to drive upto Golden Gate Bridge. It was yet another traffic nightmare. Finally we managed to reach the parking lot in one piece. It was a perfect day, absolutely no clouds. We took a walk on the bridge. San Francisco looked beautiful, and it occurred to me again that this city is perhaps the most beautiful city in the country.

We had dinner at an Italian restaurant, and drove back home to be on time to watch the latest episode of ‘Desperate Housewives’. It was a beautiful Sunday.

Another Fallen star

It pains me to read about the latest offender. I still remember seeing Marion Jones at close quarters. That day, she had won the long jump, did not finish in top three in the 100m and had pulled out of the semi-finals in the 200m. At the end of the day (literally), she was all smiles when she walked hand-in-hand with her then husband. Her smile is undoubtedly her greatest asset, sporting skills come next. I was there, I saw her and I knew she could never cheat, just like I knew Hansie Cronje could never cheat.

In the World where winning is everything, the average sports fan and his state of mind hardly matters. In a place where power and money rule, sportsmen become blind to the hunger and happiness of the millions. That is the sad reality. How else can one explain the despicable behavior of Marion Jones, Tim Montgomery, Ben Johnson, Floyd Landis, Michael Rasmussen, Barry Bonds, Hansie Cronje, Md. Azharuddin and such down the drain minds?

Marion Jones will certainly not be the last person to bring disgrace and disrepute to professional sports. And there will be thousands more who will never be caught. Talking of which, what do you think of Flo-Jo?

Cheating will happen until there is selfishness and greed in this World. That roughly translates to, cheating will be eternal. That is the hard reality. But I will not be a cynic. I will continue to watch sports passionately. Most of the sportsmen are genuine. A virus here and a bacteria there is easy to suppress.

Shame on you Marion Jones.

Hairy Roots

My barber just cannot stop talking. She beats me hands down. Remember what happened last time I met her? Just to be on the safer side, I took my wife with me on this trip.

The barber welcomed us. The first question she asked my wife was “Are you from India?”. My wife was like “Yeah!”. So, the barber goes on to say “Yes, you look so much Indian. I could find out immediately. You also have the nose pierced, that is a dead giveaway”. My wife smiles and I am getting ready for the haircut.

Just a second had passed, literally. The barber opens her mouth again “Your husband doesn’t look like he is from India”. I was not expecting this conversation, again!!! My wife is all defensive and starts off with “No no, he is from India and looks very much like any other Indian”. But, the barber has her own views “Oh no no, he doesn’t look like an Indian at all”.

I decide to put an end to the conversation right away. I interject and start talking about how I want my hair to be cut. She sighs and starts working.

I am really scared to go back next time and I have to go so often. No wonder all the barbers like my thick wavy hair. They get so much business out of me.

You First

It always amazes me how the girls think or what they say. Here is a simple example.

Yesterday, my wife decided to cook pasta. We had mango and guava juice in the refrigerator to serve as ‘drinks’. Before I opened the refrigerator, I asked my wife which juice she wanted. Her instant response, without skipping a heartbeat was “You drink whichever you want, I will drink the other one”.

I knew it was quite some time since we bought juice. So, I thought both the cartons had very little juice left. I was overwhelmed with happiness seeing that my wife was basically giving me the choice to pick whichever juice I wanted, not that she had to.

I decided to go for mango and said so. So, I decided to pour guava juice for her. She immediately asked me not to and said that she wanted mango as well. I gave a very quizzical look. She said that she knew there was a lot of mango juice and very little guava juice left. But, apparently she expected me to say guava and thus she came up with the brilliant “You drink whichever you want, I will drink the other one” line.

I am like, “If you knew there was so much of mango juice and if you wanted mango, why didn’t you say so?”. She gave that sly smile!!!

For some odd reason God made me choose mango juice that day. Else, I would have been made a big bakara ;). Well, all in good charm. Infact, it made me like my wife all the more.

Guys, beware 🙂