Steve Jobs made me think………again!!!

First of all, rest in peace Steve Jobs. He is one of a kind and certainly one of the greatest visionaries of our time.

I have been reading about him all over again. His personal life seems as much fascinating as his professional life. Here is something very interesting about him:

Jobs said he was certain that his character had been formed from his experiences, not his birth parents or genes. He frequently referred to his adopted parents as “the only real parents” that he ever had.

And, this naturally reminded me of my post from 2007:

Genes and Environment

Now that I am reading so much about Jobs, I keep wondering if he should have responded to Abdulfattah Jandali‘s emails. Maybe, maybe not.

The Dreams In Which I’m Dying Are The Best I’ve Ever Had

As weird as it sounds, this sentence is just kicking the creative juices out of me (whatever of it is left, that is!). As you’ve rightly guessed, I am listening to Tears for Fears, Gary Jules and Adam Lambert. A week ago, I was listening to an Assamese song sung by my mother, over and over and over, again and again, past midnight, of course. And, this week, it’s ‘Mad World’. Anyway, I wanted to write a poem, but I will settle for a blog post.

Fatherhood has been amazing. The fact that she wants me to hold her and jump up and down, is free exercise – you know, I always tend to look at the bright side.  When I come back from work, she will be sitting on her mother or grand mother’s lap. I just go there and give my biggest grin and start talking to her. She instantly recognizes my face and gives the biggest and best smile in the World. Now, that is priceless! (Please note, Master card). I can never give up anything for that.

The twinkle in her eyes when she is happy, the droopy cheeks when she is crying, pure and untainted innocence – I am truly blessed. I am sure most fathers have these feelings – it’s the norm, for most of us, at least. I don’t know how the love gets divided when you have more than one kid (it probably gets doubled!), but when you have your very first child, the emotions and feelings are truly out of this World.

A long time back, there was a comment on my blog saying there is only one sun and one moon. Very true, but few (un)lucky ones will have to live through eclipses. Two days back, I was staring at the full moon. I remembered the bright sun earlier that day. I looked at my wife, and at my beautiful daughter. I was happy, I was content.

I wanted to write a poem, but ended up with this. Not too far, I suppose. It’s not all that cryptics, is it? And yes, I find it kind of funny and I find it kind of sad, that the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.

My latest poem…..and the BEST ever!

My best poem

ಯಾವ ಹೂವು ಯಾರ ಮುಡಿಗೊ?

It’s been two years since appa died. It’s weird! It’s different!!

My father believed in rituals, a lot. So, I make it a point to go through all the rituals and ‘officially’ remember him on chaitra shuddha trayOdasi every year. Well, it’s just been two years now. It was very different, two years ago. I cried uncontrollably. Now, I take a different route. I try the escapist path. I try not to think of him too much during the rituals. It’s very hard not to. When you repeat his name, his father’s name, his grand father’s and the gOthra, several times during the process, it’s hard not to have moments of flashbacks.

They say time is the healer. But I think that’s only partly true. Time is a healer just because we choose it to be. There are several days when I suddenly go back to ‘thinking of everything to do with my father’ mode and silently sob. So, where did that ‘time is the healer’ thingy vanish?

If it is this bad for me, I can certainly imagine how bad it is for my mother. Then again, she is such a strong woman, who has gone through so much pain in her life. So much braver and stronger than I am. There is a reason pathos are melodious, right?

I never saw my father’s father or his grand father. But, here I am praying, so that they can attain mOkSha! Isn’t that strange? As a famous poem in Kannada goes – ಎತ್ತಣ ಮಾಮರ? ಎತ್ತಣ ಕೋಗಿಲೆ? ಎತ್ತಣಿಂದೆತ್ತ ಸಂಬಂಧವಯ್ಯ?

Will I Be Rich? Will I Be Handsome? Whatever Will Be Will Be

Alright, it’s that time of the year again. And, it’s the solemn duty of every Indian to be proud and say that four out of the top ten richest people in the World are from India. Never mind the digital divide or the poverty, it still is something to feel happy about. At least those of you who can afford two meals a day should be proud of such news for one day, if not more.

Can anyone explain why the uncanny ability of making money magically disappears if you are born South of the Vindhyas? Go check the list, if you don’t believe me.

Lakshmi Mittal, Mukesh Ambani, Anil Ambani and KP Singh are household names in India. But, get this. Do you know who is the 743rd richest person in the World? Yeah me neither, until I painstakingly went through the Forbes list (jobless, duh!). This dude Anurag Dikshit apparently lives in, of all the places, Gibraltar. And guess how he made that money. He wrote software for an online betting company, which enables gamblers all over the planet to play Poker with each other. Pretty sound bet, me thinks.

Keep dreaming, no harm there. Again, for your pleasure, here’s Doris Day’s song:

Peek A Boo

I went for my annual health check-up today, finished the paperwork and was waiting for my turn. The nurse practitioner called out my name and I went inside.

I was made to sit on a chair and she came and stood right in front of me. The slightly pregnant lady in her late 30’s was wearing an EXTREMELY low cut dress and there was nothing left for imagination!!!

And now, she wanted to check my blood pressure. Oh please!!!!! After that, she spent considerable time looking for a vein to get the blood sample. (Trying) to be a gentleman, I looked around in all possible directions and was trying to appreciate the wall colors.

Seriously though, shouldn’t there be a dress code? I mean, she ought to have known that she was not wearing a proper attire. And get this, she told me that a guy working with her was fired. I wonder why!!!

Music And Moods

My wife and I had a romantic dinner. We came back home and started listening to melodious hits from ‘Gupt’, ‘Dil Se’, ‘Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam’, ‘Kabhi Haa Kabhi Naa’, ‘Rampur Ki Lakshman’, ‘1947:Earth’, ‘Suraj Ka Sathwa Ghoda’, ‘Satyam Shivam Sundaram’, ‘Aa Gale Lag Ja’ and others.

Needless to say, it was a beautiful evening and I enjoyed every minute of it.  Music is so powerful. It can create the perfect atmosphere.

My wife is sleeping now. And being a night owl, I continued listening to more songs. I clicked on “Tera Mujhse Hai Pehle” from ‘Aa Gale Lag Ja’. That suddenly turned the wheel in a different direction. After that I went onto listen to “Tumse Milke” from ‘Pyaar Jhukta Nahin’. And then, yes you guessed it right, “Nee Meetida Nenapellavu” from ‘Nee Bareda Kadambari’. And, now I am back listening to “Tera Mujhse Hai Pehle”.

Music is so powerful. I always knew that. But being super romantic to downright hurt within a few hours is not something which I experience everyday. I have realized that writing is the best medicine I can ever get. Even if it is the form of a dumb post!

Cloud 9

It’s almost holidays and apparently this is the time that we should remember all the good things!!! Sooooooooo, here are the three BEST compliments I have ever received in my life. What are yours?

1. P Sr. (who was my senior in college) to her roomie P Jr. (who was my classmate) : “It is very rare to find truly nice human beings in this World. DS is one of them.”

2. S (my mother’s student) to R (another student) : “One thing which I pray to God always is for me to have a son like DS.”

3. M (an excellent critic) to J (an amazing poet) : “This boy will win the Jnanpeeth Award one day.”

Alright alright, the first comment is nice. Come on, I AM a nice person!!! As for the second one, I guess my parents are lucky 🙂 Well, the third one…what was ‘M’ thinking??? ‘J’ visits this blog, so I know she will be laughing when she sees that I made this a post 🙂 Apparently, ‘M’ made that comment after reading one of my ‘philosophical’ poems which I had written when I was a teenager. Trust me, I am a sucker for praises, so it did make my day. But, I do know my limitations!!! So, even though these three make the best compliments I have ever received, I think only the first two are really true.

I give a lot of compliments too. As for the best I have given out, maybe to my wife. She asked me what I liked in her the most. “Her innocence”, of course. And yes, Happy Birthday to her!!!

Bach, Bhyrappa, Victims, Philosophers And Poets

My friend and I were chatting for quite some time today morning. Among many other things, we talked about why Christ was not born on Jan 1st, how almost all cultures have 7 days in a week, significance of palm-up, palm-down and fingers in putting ‘tALa’ in Indian music, theory behind naming ‘saMpoorNa rAgAs’ in carnatic music etc. Our final topic revolved around something which was nothing. If you are visiting my blog, then I am sure you won’t be bored 😉 Enjoy!!!

HE[11:47 AM]:there is a book called Godel-Escher-Bach

HE[11:47 AM]:explains the similarities between Math/Painter/Musician minds

ME[11:47 AM]:yeah I have heard about that…..

HE[11:48 AM]:not easy to understand unless it is studied, especially Bach

ME[11:48 AM]:Bhyrappa was arguing the other day that to be a writer you need to be more intelligent than to be a painter or a musician and a lot of people agreed…I too tend to agree

HE[11:48 AM]:Escher’s paintings are nothing but certain math-transforms on a painting in a particular order

HE[11:49 AM]:what is more intelligent, what is less?

ME[11:49 AM]:OK, now we are into philosophy…..lol

ME[11:49 AM]:if not, at least we are going to define abstract

HE[11:49 AM]:no, Im saying it is not very smart to discuss those things

ME[11:50 AM]:not smart to discuss, yes

ME[11:50 AM]:not smart not to discuss as well

HE[11:50 AM]:someone will say a rocket-scientist is more intelligent than say, a composer

ME[11:50 AM]:at least at a superficial level, it’s easy to define, I would think

HE[11:50 AM]:I just think it is stupid

HE[11:50 AM]:very superficial

ME[11:50 AM]:true, but closer to reality, isn’t it?

HE[11:50 AM]:and just for saying sake

ME[11:50 AM]:not true…I disagree

ME[11:51 AM]:Something which touches more people is more important…..

ME[11:51 AM]:Unfortunate rule…but hey tell that to Darwin…who pretty much messed it up for all of us

HE[11:51 AM]:a writer needs life experience and content and musician has content available, in that way, yes

ME[11:52 AM]:A doctor is as (perhaps more) important than a Hollywood actor…but who is more famous and ‘successful’?

HE[11:52 AM]:successful or not is easy. Tell me who is more intelligent

ME[11:53 AM]:now, you are talking Bhyrappa…..at least to a certain degree

HE[11:53 AM]:it may not be always right to say doctor is more intelligent than an actor

ME[11:53 AM]:sure enough…I agree

ME[11:53 AM]:So, then all human beings are , shall I say ‘victims’ of circumstances

HE[11:53 AM]:Im saying Byrappa had a very subjective line of thought which I wouldnt want to venture

ME[11:54 AM]:I thought it was quite abstract actually…he didn’t get deeper into it….but still….

HE[11:55 AM]:‘victims’ is not exactly correct, conservative word

ME[11:55 AM]:conservative..really? So, what would a liberal mind say?

HE[11:55 AM]:exactly, for saying sake….

HE[11:55 AM]:liberal mind would say….

ME[11:56 AM]:Ummmm…no…If every human being is a ‘victim’ then there is no ‘victim’ per today’s definition

HE[11:56 AM]:….fruits of circumstance

HE[11:56 AM]:or flowers of circumstance

ME[11:56 AM]:LOL….as GSS says you are calling a conservative a Philosopher and a liberal a poet

HE[11:57 AM]:no

HE[11:57 AM]:most liberals may be poets and most conservatives may be phils, but what I said is independent of that

ME[11:58 AM]:By that definition, my take was that of a philosopher and not conservative…

ME[11:58 AM]:Now, I am content…

ME[11:58 AM]:so that makes me a liberal

ME[11:58 AM]:and I ‘could’ be a poet

ME[11:58 AM]:So, that’s good

HE[11:58 AM]:everyone is here for a purpose for him to fulfill, so a ‘flower’ is a much better word

HE[11:59 AM]:didnt you say ‘victims’?

ME[11:59 AM]:But, didn’t I just prove that I could be a poet?

HE[11:59 AM]:how?

HE[11:59 AM]:not that Im refuting your claim but I didnt understand how

ME[11:59 AM]:Philosophers can use the term ‘victims’

ME[12:00 PM]:I used it in a broader sense where everyone is a ‘victim’…so it really loses the true meaning……it becomes a grand equalizer

ME[12:00 PM]:thus, I am a liberal…

ME[12:00 PM]:and liberals could be poets….so I choose to be one

ME[12:00 PM]:There you go

HE[12:00 PM]:yes, ok

HE[12:00 PM]:correct!

One More Birthday, Two More Songs

Hiatus was good. It was not intentional. I got so busy at work and at home that I really didn’t have time to even open up my blog.

Things are under control at work and home. I have a good 8 to 5 job. Wife has a new job, and her weird hours mean that she leaves home at 7:30 in the morning and returns at 9 in the evening for the most part.

The cultural program which I directed for the local Kannada Sangha came out extremely well. Yes, I sang, danced, wrote, directed and acted in a drama and was an MC. You can imagine how busy I was, with daily practices. My wife and two other couples were involved with me in producing the hour long show.

Birthday was good. We started off by going out for dinner on the first day of the month itself. Given that my wife is also a December born, it looks like it’s going to be a month long celebration!!! Wife baked a cake, started singing “Happy Birthday” and in the middle she suddenly stopped singing because she realized that the cake had to be baked for a few more minutes. Put it back in the oven. Made me cut it again after some time. Sang “Happy Birthday” for the second time.

I look back at life. I am truly lucky to have such good grandfather, father, mother, wife, relatives and friends. I am happy. Life is beautiful.

As Doris Day sang,

“Que Sera, Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be”